Well, maybe not, but it is certainly keeping me busy.

Exams are over the first week of May (for me, anyway) but I have to take the APTTP (Alabama Prospective Teacher Testing Program.. a mouthful, right?) the 15th, so I'm considering myself finished then and Charles and I are going on vacation as soon as I finish! His birthday is the 16th so it is perfect!

I have been working so had and have planned my semesters out (roughly) based on what is USUALLY offered and I should be graduating December '11. I have saying that though because there is a fair chance that it will be May '12...

Oh well! I am working hard and this semester I kinda piled a lot on because of the 2 classes that required 25hrs, each, of in school observations on top of my class load. This summer I am taking a class or two and this fall my schedule is pretty average.. Im finally back into art classes and Im looking forward to my figure drawing class this summer. I have missed making art so much! This is great news.. I had gotten to the point of just.. hating it sometimes-- and I still haven't gotten back into my photography much but that is my goal this summer. I think starting lightly in my art will remind me what I loved about it and why i chose to make it my life.. I hate that I gave it up because of depression after Matt died.. but i was just so uninspired. I know he would want me to be back out there doing what I do but hey! Im on it now, right???? haha

I had my yearly check up last month, by the way. Everything is great. We were kinda worried what the tests on my heart would say but they are all good! I learned that I will probably go into menepause in the next 5ish years and at first, I was in shock about it. I mean, no ones likes being told they have 5 years to have kids-- even if they already knew adoption may be the best choice.

Either way, Im not freaking out about it now. Im just glad everyone around me supports me so much and that Charles understands that I have health issues, some of which effect our future.. and that he is so calm and understanding about them.

ummm.. the Schaeffer Eye-center Crawfish Boil is coming up. I always look forward to it. Dr Schaeffer gives out the Marissa Feigelson Award every year and in 03' I received it. Now, I love seeing my campers receive the award and always get teary to see him hand it to them and hear the response from the crowd. Dr Schaeffer makes sure that all of the recipients of the award get to come back every year to see our peers receive the award He is so amazing about keeping in touch with all of us all year, too. He is super special for all that he does.

I really can not think of a thing I may have forgotten.. if there is anything I will be sure to let you guys know!

now.. you guys need to get on with your updates!

Ive been back in school for 3 and a half weeks now, I'm busy but I still love it.

At first I had this weird social anxiety I have NEVER experienced in my life. It was so strange. Anyway, it didn't take long for me to fall back into the habit of it all and it took even less time to get over that weird anxiety.. thankfully.

I started selling Avon to help with money- its just a little extra to help me with art supplies here and there.. things like that.. but I like it.

..."UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this), "1d50072462b4c44078825b4ff9816feb", event)">rfreeman.avonrepres entative.com/

thats my website, its pretty boring. I wish they offered more options as far as making a profile, but you know. If they did I could put more about things that [I think] set me apart. whatever, though :)

Charles and I have started house hunting. My mom and grandma love it because they are all about buying us things for it. My mom works for Paula Deen Mag and has been all over searching for appliances (what she hasn't already gotten me, anyway) and she has already gotten me some fine china. Charles and I are really greatful that we are getting so much help... we don't even have a house picked out, yet.. and we already know that it's going to be our 'home' because of all the support :)

I have my annual check up next month (kinda towards the end.).. I'm meeting with the long term effects doctor instead of my oncologist- thought I'm sure he will stop in, he usually does with its not his year.

This is also going to be a big step for Charles. He is coming to the appointment this year so that he can learn more about what to expect and so that he can understand more about what is going on with my body, with my [occasional] worries, etc.

Cant think of much else..

Hope things are well with all of you!

I have two very random orders of business.

One: If you have a Wii fit... is it usable with one leg? Im very serious. I need to know if i can use one...

Two: If you would like a google wave please let me know by giving me your email. I figured Id share it with you guys.

Dont know what Google wave is? well, google it.

Im sorry i havent been here but! My CPU was super messed up and I thought I just needed to get a new adapter.. however, it turned out that i needed a new motherboard... so I had to buy a new one. which i did.

thankfully, I had my check from Sloss fright furnaces (the haunted house I act in) and could do that.

the reason I finally made myself get that taken care of is because..... IM FINALLY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

After two years off, its time to go back. esp since my depression is under control to the point where im not even on meds anymore. another posative, right???!!

so excited.

I should ne done with school in about two years. which is awesome because I picked up a second major. I transferred to UAB and my majors are Studio Art (that one has been around in my life since i was a freshman.. and i only need 12 hours.) and Art Education. For that one, I only need EDU classes for the most part and doing it this way will allow me to NOT have to go back to school. Ill be able to start teaching when Im done. AND because of the ammount of hours I will have at graduation, I will get teo degrees instead of one that says i had a dual major. yay again!

Thanksgiving was great, by the way. Charles spent it with my fam which was a big deal.

also, you guys should add me in the land of the rest of the internet. even though Ill be here more!

Still no luck on the job front.

Its soooo lame. hah.

I am trying. VERY HARD.

I'm 2 centimeters from going to the unemployment office. nooo fun.

anyway, other than that, Camp Smile a Mile's young adult retreat is coming up this weekend and I'm super excited for that. I get oh so camp sick... and this year, they didn't accept many of us survivors back as councilors.

frankly, i think the excuse given is a bunch of bs, however, lets not get into that. the point is... YAY CAMP!

Charles and I are doing very well. We spent a long weekend at his dad's not too long ago and he has pretty much moved in here with my roommate and I. It's getting big and I'm not scared or anxious or anything.. and i usually am when it comes to these things. I'm just happy. and comfortable.

school is still hanging in the air (but hopefully wont be in the next 2-3 wks)

if i go ahead and start again, I'm going to follow through with my plans and go to the school board and apply for sub. teaching so that Ill get some experience (and it's what i want to do during grad school, so.. why not?!) and that should certainly help with the job thing.

i just want to be doing something productive in that area before i get INTO that area. does that make sense?

I'm also on this whole.. better myself kick. in lots of ways. But im not quite ready to share that here. soon. promise.

hope things are going well with all of you.

do let me know.. got it?!!!!

love.

however, Id like to let you all know whats going on with me.

I'm trying very hard to get back into school to finish up, however... my main obstacle is that i cant afford the application fee.

I get enough money a month to pay bills and afford necessities and that's about it. Sometimes I don't even get enough to do all of that on my own. Thankfully, my roommate is willing to help pick up slack and such.. but still... that makes me feel worse at times.

I think Ive applied to everywhere imaginable but, of course, every now and then ill think of other places i can go.

I know part of the problem is the economy, however.. I'm also quite aware of the fact that when I walk in somewhere it is nearly immediately noticed that I have one leg. No matter how qualified I am, I know that people write me off because of it.

Its just assumed that Im not capable enough for the job at hand.

It doesn't matter that I can bus a table like no ones business on crutches or that i can move furniture and carry boxes and things. People dont consider the fact that i may be well adjusted to doing things on my own and that I actually could be capable of the things other people are just because of my 'disability.'

So, I'm finding it hard to get a job... which means Im certainly finding it hard to get into school.

My lack of progress is certainly not because of a lack of trying.

Mind you, Im not giving up. That's imposable.

I now have the internet at my apartment!

Let us rejoice for i will now harass this place like crazy, once again.

as soon as i get the internet at my place i will update! soooo much has happened and I feel terrible for not knowing what is going on with all of you...

So sorry I havent posted in ages.. I moved back down to southside and dont have the inter-net right now. Im actually using the free wifi at a restaurant near my new apartment.

I go back to camp SAM as a volunteer this summer.. late summer, actually, as i plan to take some summer grad school classes.

charles and i are still together and of course, wes is still my roommate (he's got a site on here, too.. we actually met at camp and are super close bestestsSssss)

this economy is killing me.. as im sure it is with you all as well. I cant get a job for anything and im trying like no ones business. i just know it will be easier when im done with all my school stuff... but hey.. thats at LEAST 3 years away.

Lately, my godson and his mother have been staying with wes and i... its a lot of fun but a lot of stress.. hes a hellatious four year old and i know i make him more hyper with all my playfulness around him. i just cant help it!

I also know his mother though camp.. ive known her for about 10 years now, actually.

ive only known wes for about 3 and a half... now we are all very close though. obviously.

Ive had a few rocky places recently.. like my therapist wont take my insurance anymore and i have to find a new one... its so hard.

im about .... 3000 in debt...

i know ill get though it all and thankfully my dr at childrens is working on getting me a job in the oncology department (offices) and he wants me to help do the design for his new book.

i really hope all that will work out because ill get insurance from there that is more acceptable than medicaid.

anyway.

ill do my best to stay updated.

soooo sorry!

always.

Beks.

I suppose a lot has happened since my last post but, really, at the same time.... very little has.

I have my 10 year check up Thursday/tomorrow and my 10 year remission date is October 11th. We are all pretty excited. Obviously. Things seem to be ok so i have no worries.

Im currently working at a Haunted house we have here in Birmingham and love it... of course.
The fact that im an amputee really helps out with the make-up and costume etc.. hah

its really so much fun.

I have just started dating again since Matt's passing and have a very amazing boyfriend who understands and listens and was certainly helpful recently when i learned of another friends death.

it certainly doesnt get any easier when one of us passes.. When we all come together like this, though... it doesnt have to be hard. I hope we all keep that in mind. We do have one another.

and well, other than that.... ive got no news.

Ill be sure to update about my appointment soon.

Always.

Beks